By Paralegal, Gloria Black
As your favorite paralegal (and if I’m not yet, it’s only because we haven’t met), I’d like to share some practical advice. I’m Gloria, a paralegal with Maselli, Mills & Fornal, P.C., where I work with our Estate Planning & Administration attorneys as well as our Transactional attorneys on corporate and real estate matters. Today, I’m stepping out of the paperwork pile to give you, not legal advice (the only legal advice I’ll give is to seek legal advice from an attorney), but real-world, practical advice. The kind of advice that makes my job, and the job of anyone administering your estate, a whole lot easier.
Don’t Just Pick Someone You Like
When choosing an executor, please don’t just hand the role to your sister, best friend, or cousin because you love them. Being your favorite relative doesn’t automatically make them the best executor. Be honest: are they actually cut out for the job?
Can They Handle Stress?
Estate administration rarely runs like clockwork. Real estate sales fall through, tax returns get flagged, and beneficiaries ask lots (and lots) of questions. Sometimes they get impatient, too.
The best executors take these hiccups in stride. If your candidate gets easily flustered, shuts down when things get tough, or needs constant reassurance, you may want to rethink. While I don’t mind a little hand-holding, your beneficiaries might not love watching estate funds trickle away on hourly legal fees.
Are They Organized – or a Walking Post-it Note?
An executor must keep excellent records: expenses, receipts, bills, income, loan collections—you name it. They’ll also need to safeguard official documents like Death Certificates and Letters Testamentary.
If the person you’re considering has receipts crammed in the glove box, sticky notes on every surface, and a “system” that even they can’t explain, maybe don’t pick them. Choose someone who can keep a clean spreadsheet and actually find it when needed.
Consider Their State of Mind
Think about where this person may be in life when you pass away. If your brother has struggled with addiction, or your sister is chronically overwhelmed, it could create serious issues.
I once worked on a case where the decedent didn’t name an executor. By law, the adult child was expected to administer the estate, but that child couldn’t be found because addiction had overtaken his life. The result? Months of investigations, expensive court proceedings, unpaid bills, a vacant home vulnerable to vandalism, and a family footing the bill until the court resolved it. This could have been avoided with a carefully chosen executor.
One Boss Is Better Than Two (or Three)
Co-executors might sound fair, but they often bring more conflict than cooperation. Sibling rivalry has a way of making a comeback at the worst possible time. Should we sell the property or transfer it? Which law firm should handle things? Which bank should hold the estate account? Even trivial disagreements can stall the process. Save your family the drama: pick one executor. That person can ask for help, but there needs to be a single decision-maker.
Revisit Your Choice
Life changes. The executor you picked ten years ago may no longer be the best fit today. Age, health, or life circumstances might change their ability to serve. Don’t feel guilty about updating your will to reflect your current reality. It’s smart planning!
Professional Executors Are an Option
Don’t overlook hiring a professional executor. While there may be upfront costs, a professional often saves time, reduces stress, and can even save money in the long run by avoiding mistakes and conflicts.
Bottom line: Choose someone calm under pressure, organized enough to keep receipts in order, stable enough to stay the course, and capable of making decisions without sparking family feuds. Your beneficiaries will thank you, and your estate will thank you too.